The Theif Child
by the Devil in training
Summary: this story is not just a list. dont worry! it's just how we meet her! this is the list chiron hands her
1. chapter 1: the real thing

Things that Zara McNair (Child of Hermes) is not allowed to do… ever again!

If you have read this before I changed it I am super sorry! That was not my work! This is! I feel so bad and it was a total accident!

No listening to music that you illegally got off the internet

It is not a camper's choice to promote themselves to cabin leader…

… having done so, if you are challenged, a fight to the death is not permitted

Causing internal combustion is not a sport and it doesn't count as an extracurricular activity

Illegally buying things that are not supposed to be drunk from a drug cartel, and then proceeding to drink said things at camp is not permitted

Under no circumstances is anyone allowed to sing 'sugar we're goin down' every time they see Hephystus.

No one is ever allowed to tell Aphrodite that, 'no matter how pretty she is on the outside, it wont count because she's so ugly on the inside'

Having broken the previous rule, one is not allowed to then advertise normal lipstick and foundation as food to make your insides prettier. Seriously guys. She got really sick.

No. Killing.

The races against the nymphs are not competitions. And one is not allowed to 'win' said race by throwing a Javalin at the nymphs to 'slow them down' it is not fair. It's just brutal.

From now on, no one can participate in the chariot races unless they are screened and deemed mentally stable.

No calling up mortals, just to scream 'eat my pants!' in Greek, then hang up

No calling the FBI to say that Percy is annoying you

No hacking into the secret service database and redirect the GPS' to camp half blood instead of camp David…

Especially if you plan to take over the world

No carving your crushes name in a heart onto a dryad, they do not appreciate it

Announcing war on MA is not allowed. They were very scared and extremely unprepared

You don't own any sort of cartel, so stop telling people to 'meet me at midnight if you wanna buy an alligator'

No telling young, new campers that if you kill Percy, you can become a God

Not everything needs to be bedazzled

No telling Aphrodite that she is a prostitute

No locking Athena and Poseidon in a closet and saying 'make love, not war'

No claiming that you can find the holey grail for ten bucks

No claiming that you are the daughter of McNair from 'Harry Potter' and that you are really an axe murderer and death eater

No pole dancing…

… then running away screaming that Zeus is going to molest you. We don't want to hear it. You brought it on yourself

after you are hit by a wooden sword in defense practice, you may not fall to the ground screaming 'I can see the light! It's so beautiful!'

no taking my kidney. I want that back by the way

no claiming that your 18th ex boyfriend ate your ancient Greek homework

do not call the daughters of Aphrodite sinners because of their vanity…

… then spend the rest of the day saying 'get it?' to every person you pass

no calling Dionysus a tree hugger

at camp meetings, no pounding your fist on the table and yelling 'I object!' every time someone opens their mouth

no saying that the titan war will, 'blow over eventually'

no paying Apollo to play fetch, even though he needs the cash, he finds it very degrading to run on all fours

no taunting Hades by saying that the only way he could 'get the girl', was to kidnap her

no taking a trip to Mount Olympus just to scream 'keep it in your pants!' into a megaphone

no replacing the camp informational DVD with a very explicit R rated movie

no mauling campers…

…after being punished for mauling campers, don't raise your sword and scream that it was 'for the greater good'

Was it good? I will add a story about Zara if you would like! She did all of this. R&R please!


	2. not really a chapter, but important

**PLEASE READ! IMPORTANT!**

Okay guys I am working on another chapter, but I won't be available for the next three weeks so I can't update. I will be in Europe, first France, then Italy. This notice is going up on all of my stories, so if you've read it once, you don't need to read it again. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, or read, my stories, I will resume writing as soon as I get back.


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